Menaced in a Cambridge pub

They say there is no crime in this town, but there could be.

I return from a drink with a Japanologist, and decide that one for my road is in order at the pub at the end of our road, the Red Bull in Newnham, Cambridge.

Inside is frequent bar-propper Rory McGrath, of television fame. I don’t know him, but various people I do do. Since he does a comedy telly programme about Three Men on a Boat (I have watched perhaps 10 mins, have no view on it), puttering around the UK on narrow barges talking about who knows what, I show him a couple of pics that I took of a narrow barge that was granted permission to come up among the colleges recently. I blogged about it.

All good so far. Then, I say: ‘Listen, I don’t know you, but I was very surprised about the idea that Griff Rhys Jones might be a closet Nazi.’ This seems to me like standard pub banter. If you haven’t followed the story, RJ gave a long interview to the Telegraph in which he said that if the next government introduces a ‘mansion tax’ he might emigrate. The point is that RJ is quite funny, and yet, confronted in middle age with a modest tax on the huge capital gain he has made on London property, he suggests he might move to somewhere where I suspect he does not even speak the language.

Well, this set Mr McGrath off on the kind of frighteningly aggressive one-on-one verbal assault that I have not seen since I complained about being short-changed, as a student, on a marijuana purchase in Ladbroke Grove in circa 1985. That earlier incident did involve a knife, but the bile from McGrath was very much the same. It made me wonder if even comedians fall into the stylised description of John Carey’s classic work in which the British intelligentsia is shown to be drearily self-interested, drunk, and small C conservative.

I walked home thinking that McGrath must have some sort of point. But I can’t see it. Even if Rhys Jones spent 100% of purchase price fixing up his principal London home, he still made 4 million quid tax free. The mansion tax would be frivolous by comparison. Indeed it would be a much less rational tax, and a much lower tax, than one linked to capital appreciation. Andy Wightman sets out the numbers clearly on his blog.

These people — RJ — used to be our heroes. So what happened? I cannot even begin to imagine. To paraphrase, perhaps we are looking at: ‘All money corrupts, and lots of money corrupts a lot.’

Meanwhile Rory McGrath, was essentially trying to pick a physical fight with words of crushing violence. It appears he has form in this area. What do I say? I say: Fat. Drunk. And this evening ignorant. Sober up, my friend. I hope we will kiss and make up.

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4 Responses to “Menaced in a Cambridge pub”

  1. Richard Says:

    I don’t see any connection whatsoever between tax exile and membership of (or sympathy with the aims of) the National Socialist German Workers’ Party.

    • joestudwell Says:

      Yes, I think this is a very fair point. However, as a poorly-chosen term of ‘banter’ in a pub on a Friday night, it certainly did not justify Rory McGrath’s very unpleasant (but thankfully also risible) attempt to provoke a fight. Possibly what made McGrath keep getting angrier was my mix of bewilderment and mirth (which I really was trying to conceal) at just how drunk, shallow and unpleasant he was.

      Anyhow, I have tried since to think what Rhys Jones is, because he obviously isn’t, in actual fact, ‘a bit of Nazi’. I first thought I might have said ‘a bit UKIPpy’. But he isn’t that either, because I think he is if anything pro-immigration. What he really is is just selfish and narrow-minded and deluded into thinking that it is (within reason) our physical ‘stuff’ that makes us happy. So, if you can help, I am looking for a short-hand designation that captures those qualities.

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